Even though I would love to say that this pregnancy has been wonderful, amazing, awesome, or insert some other positive adjective, it has not.
First, I've been incredibly sick. So much so that I take some wonderful doctor approved drugs to help.
Second, once you lose a child, the gift of having a blissful, fear free pregnancy is gone.
Every little thing that's different from Mady's pregnancy or the same from our miscarriage in December causes me to worry and I have to constantly remind myself of Who is in control.
I constantly compare different physical symptoms.
Am I throwing up enough? Well that must be a good thing because I wasn't sick at all with the miscarriage.
Was that a cramp I need to be concerned about?
Is my belly getting bigger?
The list goes on and on...
And even with all the fear, I find that there is peace when I rely on God's strength and don't give into the temptation to worry.
Philippians 4:13 has been a verse I've quoted many times over the last few weeks.
"Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds and Christ Jesus."
So when the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat in the office with the doppler today and my mind went to the worst case scenario.."Be Anxious for nothing"
When I'm waiting to see that flashing on the ultrasound screen signaling a heartbeat..."Be Anxious for nothing"
When I'm having a hard day, missing our 2nd beautiful baby and start worrying about the same thing happening to this one..."Be anxious for nothing."
So please pray for us as we embark on this adventure of pregnancy.
Pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby.
Pray that we will rely on God's truth and not give into the fear and lies that Satan throws at our hearts and minds.
so excited for you! Can't wait to follow your blog and meet your new little one-we'll miss seeing you around!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice that Mady's younger in the sense that you could put that shirt on her :). Luke refuses to wear his "Big Brother" shirt until his baby sister is here. He's old enough to process that....so, I don't argue that one. But, it'll give me one more exciting thing when the baby comes -- seeing him in that shirt. On another note, I'd like to tell you that the worrying goes away, but it doesn't. Satan's very crafty...I worried A LOT through my pregnancy with Luke, and I woudn't say this one has been any easier in the anxiety department. But, God is stronger....it's good with the scripture we've been attempting to memorize in small group....
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