Life as we know it...

has not been the same since December 24, 2011.  
I've been doing a bible study on Tuesday mornings that is studying the life of David.  In that bible study, we've learned a lot about David and his fight to claim the crown of being the king over Israel.  One of my favorite quotes is this:
"No matter what the cause of our battles, time will pass and change will come.  Just like David and the house of Saul, we will either grow stronger or weaker."
I have been in a battle the last month.  
Over my emotions.
Over my physical well-being.
Over my spiritual health. 
And I can tell you, I've become stronger.  
Stronger in the sense of relying and trusting in God for my strength each day.
There have been several days I haven't wanted to get out of bed.
There have been several days that my thoughts are mostly positive towards our long month since our sweet baby went to heaven.
But in the end, I've become stronger.  
I've been able to say like lady named Renee wrote in "Empty Arms"
"My baby's life was not long enough to have any pictures to carry in my billfold, but was long enough to fill my heart with wonderful memories.  I was never hurt by my child's rebellion, was never embarrassed by my child's actions, and I never had to discipline him.  This was my child who brought me only joy all the days of his life.  Thank you,, God, for that kind of child; it was a gift only you could give."
One month has passed since we lost our baby.  
One month of pain, hurt, heartache, sorrow, unconditional love for my babies.  
One month of learning to trust God in the hard times.  
One month of beginning to have more of an eternal perspective.  
"I picture our child being raised by our loving heavenly Father, free from the suffering of this world and never a victim of our parental shortcomings.  I imagine him talking with our family members who have gone to heaven before us, learning all he can about us.  I believe we will know him the minute we set eyes on him, and he will know us, the ones who conceived his life as a product of our love.  And after he welcomes us home with a long embrace, we plan on picking up right where we left off.  This time, however, there will be no more tears, there will be no more good-byes, and never again will we know the pain of empty arms."
~excerpt from Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt
Life as we know it, may it never be the same.