Sick Baby

We've had a sick little girl around here.  Mady was diagnosed with pneumonia last Thursday and we've had 5 days of antibiotics and breathing treatments.  Mady's hatred for breathing treatments is about the same as mine.  The medicine that she was on with the breathing treatments made her irritable, sleepless, hyper-active, and moody.  Plus her appetite greatly decreased.  She wouldn't take any naps so all of those above characteristics of Mady's behavior could also describe her mom, with the exception of hyper-active.  So, I called the doctor and we should be able to get another medicine today.  Hopefully, with less side-effects.  
I'm looking forward to having my easy-going little girl back.  Not the one who wants to be held, but doesn't want to be held, or the one that's tired, but doesn't want to lay down, or the one who won't eat and throws food on the floor, or who cries at my legs all...day...long.  

Please pray for Miss Mady that her little body recovers quickly from the pneumonia and that the new medicine doesn't have bad side effects.  Also pray for my patience and also for a chance to shower, since it's 12:45 and I'm still in my pajamas.  

What we've been up to

Here's a glimpse of what Miss Mady's been up to lately:


1. Our new sensory tub: So far we've done well to keep the beans in the tub but we're slowly becoming more wild with it, so I'm imagining something going under the tub sometime soon...Mady does love it though! 

2. Being Silly at Meals: By silly, I also mean a little naughty too.  Like intentionally throwing down food when we're done eating or we don't like what's on our tray.  Yes, folks, we have a stubborn one!

3. Reading with Daddy : I LOVE these pictures of Mady with her Daddy.  They're so cute!

Life as we know it...

has not been the same since December 24, 2011.  
I've been doing a bible study on Tuesday mornings that is studying the life of David.  In that bible study, we've learned a lot about David and his fight to claim the crown of being the king over Israel.  One of my favorite quotes is this:
"No matter what the cause of our battles, time will pass and change will come.  Just like David and the house of Saul, we will either grow stronger or weaker."
I have been in a battle the last month.  
Over my emotions.
Over my physical well-being.
Over my spiritual health. 
And I can tell you, I've become stronger.  
Stronger in the sense of relying and trusting in God for my strength each day.
There have been several days I haven't wanted to get out of bed.
There have been several days that my thoughts are mostly positive towards our long month since our sweet baby went to heaven.
But in the end, I've become stronger.  
I've been able to say like lady named Renee wrote in "Empty Arms"
"My baby's life was not long enough to have any pictures to carry in my billfold, but was long enough to fill my heart with wonderful memories.  I was never hurt by my child's rebellion, was never embarrassed by my child's actions, and I never had to discipline him.  This was my child who brought me only joy all the days of his life.  Thank you,, God, for that kind of child; it was a gift only you could give."
One month has passed since we lost our baby.  
One month of pain, hurt, heartache, sorrow, unconditional love for my babies.  
One month of learning to trust God in the hard times.  
One month of beginning to have more of an eternal perspective.  
"I picture our child being raised by our loving heavenly Father, free from the suffering of this world and never a victim of our parental shortcomings.  I imagine him talking with our family members who have gone to heaven before us, learning all he can about us.  I believe we will know him the minute we set eyes on him, and he will know us, the ones who conceived his life as a product of our love.  And after he welcomes us home with a long embrace, we plan on picking up right where we left off.  This time, however, there will be no more tears, there will be no more good-byes, and never again will we know the pain of empty arms."
~excerpt from Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt
Life as we know it, may it never be the same.  

This week...

We've had a pretty good week around here.  Here are a couple of highlights:
1. Hypermobility :  We went to see a specialist on Monday.  The specialist is basically another set of eyes on Miss Mady.  Some of you know, she isn't truly crawling (with stomach off the ground) and isn't walking yet and she's 13 1/2 months old.  She's always been delayed on gross motor.  The specialist took one look at her and knew what the problem was.  She has hyper mobility which means all her joints are double jointed.  We've always noticed that she's super flexible.  I've found her several times putting her head down on the ground with her legs extended straight out.  Her knees can hyper extend and she also does the splits to get from a sitting position to a crawling.  It's pretty crazy to watch.  
So...what does this mean?  Really nothing.  Except that we have a name and a little more understanding of why she's struggling with gross motor.  We will have to get insoles in her shoes to support her feet and then if those don't help, it may mean braces on her ankles.  At first I was little apprehensive about braces...think Forest Gump.  But...the doctor assured me that they wouldn't be up her entire leg and she wouldn't necessarily have to wear them out of the house.  


2. Good News Today I found out some good news from a friend.  I can't say what it is and who it is but I'm so excited for that person.  It made my day:-)  


3. Basketball: Practice and games end today.  It has gone really fast!  On one hand, I'm excited because it's been a struggle making Mady take a nap at 1:00 when her natural nap time is 2:00.  It will be nice to have a little more flexibility in the afternoons.  Mady will definitely miss the attention she gets.  Those girls just dote on her and let her play with their phones all day long (something Mommy doesn't let her do at home!).  I will miss seeing the girls and getting out of the house.  It was such a great situation at Hesston and I'm glad I got the chance to coach.  


4. Hard: The only difficult thing this week was realizing how many people at church are pregnant and due when I was.  It just is a constant reminder of our loss.  It makes me want to be antisocial...but I know I can't hide from it.  


And because I need to add a photo in this post, I'll show my little girl doing a great job standing!  Our favorite thing to do is watch Lexi outside.

Ignore the gross glass.  It has since been cleaned!

My little "helper"

Here are a few of Mady's chores and the way she "helps" around the house.
1. Unfolding the laundry.

2. Removing the newspapers from the basket.

FYI This is our new smile.  Whenever I bring out the camera, she does this.  Silly girl!

3. Emptying the cereal boxes.

Comparison

Last year....

This year...

Say "Cheese!" Mady loves to "take pictures" with her camera!

It's truly amazing how different my little girl is in 1 short year!  I love seeing her personality develop more and more.   Miss Mady, you have grown so much!  We can't wait to see what next year will bring!

A few things...

1. Is it just me or does it seem like EVERYONE is pregnant and due in the summer?  Maybe its just my perception since we lost a baby that would have been born then...  And if you are one of those people that is due in summer, I am super excited for you.  I really am.  I just miss our baby sometimes a lot.  


2. Mady has recently started to throw a small tantrum.  I knew it was coming soon.  I did.  But the unrealistic side of me thought maybe I won't have one of those children that throws themselves down on the ground or kicks their legs when they don't get their way.  So far, its been body limp combined with kicking the feet when mean mommy makes her stop doing something like eating paper.  


3. I've been reading a great book a friend gave me this week called Empty Arms  by Pam Vredevelt.  It's been good and helpful to let me know that what I'm feeling is in no way abnormal.  Especially when I'm ticked that I'm running because I now have to keep myself in shape instead of taking it easy, knowing that gaining weight is just a normal part of pregnancy.  


4.  Isn't this little girl such a cutie?  Everyday I'm so thankful that God allowed me to have a little girl.  She has been a great source of joy for me the last few weeks.

A Girl and Her Best Buddy

Mady loves Lexi.  She sometimes loves her a little too much.  After not seeing her doggie for 1 day over Christmas, you would have thought she hadn't seen her in years!  She immediately tried to grab handfuls of fur hug Lexi.  Here are some of the favorite things this girl and her dog like to do together.

Sometimes Lexi doesn't always like to play with us....

Naptime...

Jeremy and I have said over and over again how blessed we are when it comes to Mady's sleep habits.  She sleeps 12 hours at night from approx. 7:45PM until approx. 8:00AM.  She also takes 2 pretty good naps during the day.  I guess my favorite part though is that 95% of the time, when Mady wakes up she's really happy and loves to play in her bed until I come get her.  
Lately, her favorite thing is to pull bibs out the plastic drawers next to her crib. On this particular day, I counted 8 bibs in her crib.

Christmas 2011

I didn't get many pictures this year...guess it wasn't too high on the priority list.  But I can honestly say, we did have a good Christmas weekend despite losing our baby on Christmas Eve.  Miss Mady was so much fun to watch opening presents! 
2 weeks before Christmas, Mady helped her dada put up Christmas lights.

I tried hard to get both of them to stay still and look at the camera...it didn't work!

On December 23, we had our little family Christmas.  Jeremy and I don't buy each other much... we just do stockings.  We usually buy something big that we both like.  This year it was an iPod and then since our computer stopped working, it ended up being a computer too.  For Mady we only got her 1 gift and some stocking stuffers.  She just had a birthday and we didn't think she needed anything else.  

On Sunday morning, we decided not to go to church, but I wanted some pictures of Mady in her Christmas dress.