The day we got to see our baby's heartbeat.
It was the day of our first sonogram.
Instead we went to talk about the baby we lost.
Today was the first time I dreaded going to my doctor's office.
Before it's always been exciting because I was pregnant or had just delivered a beautiful baby girl.
Today was hard.
It felt final.
Even though I held it together at the appointment, when I got in the car, the tears came as I listened to this song on the radio. The words so appropriate.
I'll praise you this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
Though my heart is torn
I'll praise you in this storm
The little girl that has brought a little sunshine to our darkness is this sweet girl.
I don't know how much I'll blog about our loss. It's not that I am afraid of talking about it...I'm not. It's that I don't want to focus on it all the time, especially when I have such a beautiful baby girl to spend my days with.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us. As Jeremy says "It's not something you can just get over in a day or two."
I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. When I first read it, I couldn't relate personally, but I really appreciate when people will talk about their miscarriages. It is not something to be ashamed of, and, like you said, it is a loss, and you should be able to grieve openly.
ReplyDeleteWell, on Tuesday, we went into the doctor for our first check-up with baby #2. Things didn't turn out as expected, and we may be facing a miscarriage, too. (It could be that we're not as far along as we thought-- we'll find out in 2 weeks.) Your words have helped me so much. Thank you for being open... it is what I need!