Naptime...

Jeremy and I have said over and over again how blessed we are when it comes to Mady's sleep habits.  She sleeps 12 hours at night from approx. 7:45PM until approx. 8:00AM.  She also takes 2 pretty good naps during the day.  I guess my favorite part though is that 95% of the time, when Mady wakes up she's really happy and loves to play in her bed until I come get her.  
Lately, her favorite thing is to pull bibs out the plastic drawers next to her crib. On this particular day, I counted 8 bibs in her crib.

Christmas 2011

I didn't get many pictures this year...guess it wasn't too high on the priority list.  But I can honestly say, we did have a good Christmas weekend despite losing our baby on Christmas Eve.  Miss Mady was so much fun to watch opening presents! 
2 weeks before Christmas, Mady helped her dada put up Christmas lights.

I tried hard to get both of them to stay still and look at the camera...it didn't work!

On December 23, we had our little family Christmas.  Jeremy and I don't buy each other much... we just do stockings.  We usually buy something big that we both like.  This year it was an iPod and then since our computer stopped working, it ended up being a computer too.  For Mady we only got her 1 gift and some stocking stuffers.  She just had a birthday and we didn't think she needed anything else.  

On Sunday morning, we decided not to go to church, but I wanted some pictures of Mady in her Christmas dress. 

A Sad Twist of Irony

Today was suppose to be the day we got our first glance of our 2nd baby.
The day we got to see our baby's heartbeat.
It was the day of our first sonogram.  
Instead we went to talk about the baby we lost.
Today was the first time I dreaded going to my doctor's office.
Before it's always been exciting because I was pregnant or had just delivered a beautiful baby girl.
Today was hard.  
It felt final.
Even though I held it together at the appointment, when I got in the car, the tears came as I listened to this song on the radio.  The words so appropriate. 
I'll praise you this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
Though my heart is torn
I'll praise you in this storm


The little girl that has brought a little sunshine to our darkness is this sweet girl. 

We are so thankful for her.  She has been such a trooper through it all always giving sweet smiles and hugs for her mama.  
I don't know how much I'll blog about our loss.  It's not that I am afraid of talking about it...I'm not.  It's that I don't want to focus on it all the time, especially when I have such a beautiful baby girl to spend my days with.  
Thank you for continuing to pray for us.  As Jeremy says "It's not something you can just get over in a day or two."  

Our December

Our December has been full of ups and downs.
It started off amazing.  We celebrated our precious Mady's first birthday!  So exciting!  We love her so much and had so much fun celebrating her day.
3 days later, I found out I was pregnant.  I was so excited!  Jeremy and I had wanted to have another baby and loved that our two children would be about 20 months apart.  My due date was July 26th and I was super excited about having a summer baby so I could compare what it's like to have a summer and winter baby!  Plus all our children's birthdays wouldn't be together (much easier on the budget that way!)
We planned on surprising my parents and family on Christmas Eve that we were pregnant.  I had this adorable idea to take pictures of my niece, nephew, and Mady each holding a different letter of Mimi and Papa with the last i and a being a picture of the pregnancy test.  I had it all wrapped up ready to go.
But... God had different plans.
On December 23, I started having problems.  I didn't think anything of it though because I had my first prenatal appointment on the 22 and everything looked fine.  (They didn't do the sono though that day.)  I tried to put it out of my mind but on December 24th, before we headed down to Oklahoma, Jeremy took me to the ER because I was still bleeding.  At that point, I was supposedly 9 weeks along.  However, when they did the ultrasound, the baby was only measuring 4-5 weeks.  I held on to the slim hope that my due date was off but I knew deep down the baby wasn't doing well.  I had found out 3 weeks before I was pregnant and there was no way to know I was pregnant that soon.
The ER sent us on our way and we continued our trip to Oklahoma.  When we got there, I was in pain.  I tried to enjoy the time with my family but I was hurting.  2 hours later, we lost the baby.
After spending a wonderful few days with my family, Jeremy and I headed back home.  Reality set in on that trip and I cried a lot.  Jeremy was so patient with me.
We had a doc appointment scheduled for today but instead of going, I ended up getting the stomach flu.  Mady had it on Sunday night and shared it with her mom.  We will be going tomorrow Lord willing.
Please keep us in your prayers.
It doesn't matter how far a long I was or that I have a child already, a loss is a loss.   And it's hard.  Our sweet baby Angel was so wanted and loved.

12 Lessons for 12 months continued...

Continuing on with the 12 lessons in 12 months.
When people tell you not to register for a diaper genie don't listen.
We didn't register for one because we thought "Hey, a cheap trashcan from Walmart will do the trick until we take out the trash."  WRONG!  I guess Jeremy and I had never really smelled how terrible diapers stink after sitting in a trashcan for several days.  It makes me nauseous every time I smell them and I'm not even pregnant.  

We quickly decided we needed an alternative to the "cheap trashcan from Walmart." I didn't want to spend much money of course so I decided to shop around.  

One week, I went into my local favorite shop, the Etc. Shop (yes it's a thrift store and I love it!) and what shall I find there?  Only a perfectly good diaper disposal pail!  And the best part....It was $2.  So now, there is a little stench in Mady's room from time to time, but combine that with the Newborn Nursery scent in the Scentsy warmer and our diaper pail, we pretty much have figured out how to cover it up.  And my nausea has almost gone away....except when I have to empty the diaper pail.

Not all babies tell you when they're hungry.
I didn't think this was possible.  Before having Mady I thought..."Ok so when a baby's hungry they'll cry and let you know like my niece and nephew did."  WRONG!  Mady has never been one to ask for food...ever.  I'm not kidding.  If it wasn't for me and Jeremy telling her to eat, the girl would go all day without eating.  This may explain the reason she's below 20 percentile in her weight...

This lesson however has been a good reminder that putting a baby on a schedule is necessary and it works!  If we would have let her decide when she was hungry, I'm pretty sure we would have been in the hospital several times this year for "failure to thrive".   

12 Lessons

I can't believe Miss Mady turns 1 YEAR in less than 2 weeks.  (I also realize I skipped 11 months.  I will get back to that someday...)   This year has been filled with so many new things for our family.  We've learned so much that we wouldn't if MIss Mady hadn't been put into our lives.  

So for the next several posts, I'm going to share with you the 12 major lessons we've learned from being parents to our beautiful girl.  Some will be funny, and some will be serious.  And they are all in no particular order.  

Your baby may not grow or develop EXACTLY the way Babycenter.com says they should.
This is a big one for Jeremy and I.  I guess I had this idea that if I read enough books, found out what was suppose to happen at each month, then Mady would develop exactly like that.  I don't know why I thought that babies all develop at the same rate.  

Mady has defintely made us more patient when it comes to expecting her to develop like the websites and books say.  I have learned so much as we've watched Mady struggle to roll over, sit up, and crawl.  I am also so proud of her when she does something that I know she's had to work hard to figure out.  

What you feed your baby doesn't make you a good Mom or a bad Mom.
Most of you know Miss Mady's story the first few months of her life.  I started out breastfeeding but at her 2 week appointment she was no where near her birth weight.  After meeting with a lactation consultant everyday for a week, counting the amount of CC's my child was consuming, and all the stress that was on Jeremy and I, we decided it was best for Mady and us to switch to formula.  At first, I was a little torn about it.  Now looking back, I would do it again in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. 

Please indulge me as I go on my soapbox.  I have been super frustrated by mom's who think breastfeeding is the only way.  They vilanize the use of formula calling it "gross" and something "they would never do".  

I completely know and understand that breastfeeding is best for baby in most cases but it doesn't always turn out that way.  To make mom's who choose to formula feed or have no other option than to use formula feel bad because of it is rediculous.  I use to be one of those women who sat in judgement if I saw a mom use formula especially with a tiny little one.  NOw, I sit there understanding that it may not have been that mom's choice.  And instead of judging or being critical or putting up signs that say formula is evil, mom's who can breastfeed should be thankful they can and realize other mom's would love to be able to do the same.  

Lastly, back to the lesson learned....this whole bonding thing that happens when you breast feed is beyond crap.  Mady and I have a strong bond and we have fed her formula since week 3.  WHAT YOU FEED YOUR BABY DOESN'T DETERMINE HOW YOU ARE AS A MOTHER!

Ok done with that.  I promise they won't all be like that!

Mady's Halloween

Mady had such a fun Halloween! Since Mom had basketball practice that went until 5:30, we didn't do a lot of trick-or-treating but we did go around the block.  Miss Mady was our cute "lil punkin"!  

Trying to steal candy from her bucket!

Checking out her loot!

Sister Lexi had to join in!  (Sidenote: having trick or treaters come to our door with Lexi in the house is no fun.  She goes crazy!  Jeremy and I both decided it's more fun if we just leave the candy dish on our steps for people to take.)

 

My sweet Pumpkin!